I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
