do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
