Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
