i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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