She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
