i jhust puked up my retainher.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
