I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
