i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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