I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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