She's JV to your varsity
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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