You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize