You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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