It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
