hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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