so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
