Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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