I want to have your abortion
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize