You made me cry and you don't even care
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
