Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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