He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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