He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
