This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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