I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
