I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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