they need to just BURY HIM!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
