If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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