i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
