I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
