Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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