oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
