i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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