How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
