dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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