I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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