READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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