That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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