somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize