the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
