remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he was CRYING into my vagina
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
