last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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