when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
