wat bout pragnant strippers??
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
