do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
It's just like the Real World with babies
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
