The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
