My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
