I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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