I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize