I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
