Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
