sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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