Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
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