Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
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