We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
