I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
