If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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