oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
