this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
home. puking in laundry basket.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
