How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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