I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
