whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize