Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
