You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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