He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
