I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
