i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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