time to smoke my breakfast
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
