We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
