that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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