I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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