Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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